La sera prima

  ''Just take a look at what they've done... Alexander was poisoned; Socrates has killed himself; Hercules ascended to his people in the sky... And us? We are left behind, alone. And in time we've learned to cope with the endless hate and envy of those not blessed! Don't fool yourself, they would kill us if they could. They would push their knives on us full of fury and treason. Oh! Brutus... We and our divine obsession!''

Sunt lacrimae rerum

In this sea of doubt and turmoil,
Of circulating storms and mischief,
I found myself on a discarded part of Eden,
Where the winds stop blowing
and the waves of sadness are getting drowned in themselves;
Where the confusion and anxiety of existance ends painlessly and peacefully.
There the Creator was resting,
Forcing himself in an unending slumber,
Leaving us  unfinished:
Too young for wisdom
Too old for bliss.

Is that why although we long for happiness,
We are letting go?
Even though all you need to fill one's heart
Is the sun, the ocean and a journey.

A touch of silver

Since my first morning on this humble rock
I was inherited with some  kind of a tedency
A longing, to touch the sky,
To end up among the constellations.

How hard it can be to tell what's right and what's not...

The devil won't come on a flaming chariot
With shadow steeds pulling it,
Nor will rise from the depth of the ocean
Swallowing islands.

He is a silent voice in one's head,
Telling him to look away,
He is an act of usurpation,
An act of jealousy
An act of selfishness

So, how can the hero be an angel,
Spreading his wings all over us;
With blinding light driving the fiend away?
Or a demigod,
Slicing the leviathan in one hit,
Leading the princess to his kingdom?

No heaven; Know heaven

"I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude"

Since I was down again last night
I thought that some crowd might cheer me up
So I took a long shot and went to the cinema
And watched a new mainstream film

I couldn't help it but realize
That as individuals
We tend to empathize with the villain
Rather than the hero

Made by an unknown and anonymous creator
Left in darkness
Alone
To find a sense of purpose

And turn into suicidal war maniacs
Since the savior's ethics are unattainable
Out of reach
Leading us to perish

Incomplete
Desperate
And in solitude

T̶o̶r̶n̶ Born

It's been since the world began that man

Tended to worship and fear the one that was

Greater in size and beyond in perception

Than his tiny body and simple mind and 

In times of fear and weakness turned into

Them for sign that never came or a sign

Ιnvented. In that great forces, to whom

Once a great king offered his daughter

To gain their favor for a safe travel,

He has once again turned to bless him

With their sanity not to aim his blade

To his chest but to relieve himself from loss.

His only company is himself and the waves,

and the clouds above his head:

"The winds and waves are against again today
As they always are for the blasphemers
And to the weak who beg for shelter.
The winds the waves are the tutor and the guide
For them lost and sad and desperate
Forcing them to hearken to the sound of freedom.
The winds and waves and I are having
Everyday the most joyful and sorrowful
Conversations; The truth of living meets
The pain of feeling. The sea speaks to me
Through the tide trying to get me
Into my senses to discover
Myself once more, once and for all.
The ocean striking itself and the ship
Produces the finest voice which reaches
The depths of my soul;
Consulting and scolding me
For abandoning my heart
In a barless prison.
Disobeying the ancient one
I take her letter out of my pocket
And read it once again
And tears fill my eyes
As I read the last line:
'Adieu, mon amour et mon ami'
Wild thoughts again cross my mind
To use the sea as the mean
To be together once more.
If I close my eyes and feel the breeze
touching my neck a sensation comes to me
Of her breath and a sound in my mind
Of the words she spoke
Of her shattered dreams.
Oh wind and wave, how I could have known
What great companions you can be
In these time of sorrow
Whom I tossed upon myself!
Oh wind and wave, how I could have known
That in calmness and in turmoil
You sprout a great wisdom
Born since time itself made you
Self-aware?
 Oh wind and wave, how I could have known
 You can feel my pain
Of eternal internal struggle
In which you are also bound

We called it ''Sin''

The beast rose proud from the depth of sea,

Mighty and furious and from its chains free,

Making its way to us with full force

Walking fast on our heart's pulse

Full of hatred and anger aimed

To the creator that  restrained

And turned away from his lonely child

Who demanded bliss but made it wild

And the god-made man turned his back in fear

To his offspring coming near

Demanding just the pleasure, reject the pain

A fission which cannot keep you sane

Solitude and sorrow will be the only price

Heart and soul turning into ice

"All monsters are human" is what she said

As she watched him cry on his bed

When one not accepts what he's made

Having left no soul to trade

Heaven's shield and hellish blade

On earth them both will degrade.

Jus Primae Noctis

 The will come at night;

them, you know, the usurpers.

Don't fool yourself, they envy you;

and they would kill you if they could.

They are schemers, 

trying to control ''their'' world,

and unfortunately it involves you,

that's how you know you are not weak.

So the night fits them great, 

when flesh won't cooperate,

cold sweat, blurry vision,

a heart beating it's way out of the chest.

For as far as I am concerned,

the enemy is here,

and knowing yourself is pulling the trigger

while knowing the enemy is aiming to the right direction.

Fight on. Fear not.

"What a disgrace really, for a man to grow old, never finding out what he is capable of."

 The bus' night route will be the same no matter what, I guess. The driver always going as fast as hell to reach the terminal, a couple of wasted junkies at the back side sleeping and a bunch of losers like myself not having something better to do on a Saturday night. Being working too much in the last months has led me to spend too much time to myself. Realizing that I decided to go downtown hoping to find someone I know to spend some time with.

 First thing I do when I arrive is getting a cold beer from the liquer store and a pack of smokes. I take a look around and spot some guys I've been knowing since a long time. They' re really excited to see me since I've been away for some time. I don't care that much that they didn't contact me anyway.

 The conversations were about various staff, but mainly they were focusing on the ''system''. How it controls our lives, not being able to react, being enslaved over nothing. I remember them telling me how we have to work more than we should, that life should be easier.

 "Easy living isn't living" I said. "A sheep's life is easy. It is offered its food daily and doesn't care where it is or where it's going. All decisions are made by someone else. So someone deciding for your life doesn't qualify as living actually. A panther's life, on the other hand, is hard. The panther has to be faster and more agile than its prey or face starvation. The panther has to be stronger than an other male panther to be able to mate, and has to remain strong in order to not be killed by another rival. This is earning your life. Not easy, but more similar to free.''

 "Society doesn't always play fair", they said. "There are people that will gladly stab you on the back"

 "Vultures and hyaenas feast on rotten corpses, that's the best they can do. They will always live in fear of the one who doesn't count on the opponents disease to win.''

 It is almost 5 o'clock in the morning so I guess it is time to get back home. I thank everyone for the company and leave.

 The subway was crowded with people going to their jobs. Not willing. Not satisfied. Not free.