Fire and water

''We learned to cope.. We learned to recognize the danger of the endless envy of those who are not blessed.. We, and our wild obsession!!''

 Her kiss is like a breath of life bringing me back from the dead. Her wet lips are moving away from mine and get down on my neck. My senses are going crazy, both sharpened and dull. Her perfume is making it's way towards me. It's tangling me, claiming as it's own, taking me for prisoner.

 Her hands are holding the back of my head as she keeps pushing my lips against me. I unbutton my shirt slowly so she can watch. She can't resist putting her hand on my my chest, feeling my heartbeat setting it's own pace like a runaway train.

 I get closer and whisper all the staff I wanna do to her, how I am gonna do them, and how good it will feel. Her eyes sparkling, looking directly into mine, it's like I can read her mind through them, all the frames of the nasty and dirty game we are about to play.

 Our bodies are sweaty, out of breath and our minds out of this place, living the moment as if the world is about to end, and don't care about the consequences. Our voices speak now no tongue,  just moans and words that only the two of us can understand, composing a lovely song solely for our entairtainment..

 As I see her sleep and notice these perfect breasts of hers moving up and down as she breaths, bringing a huge smile to my face. The world will not end, but even if it does, I know I will go smiling just thinking of the life we shared, embracing the sun.

Armor of insanity

 They offered me another glass of wine. Although they seem a bit friendly I can't let myself go completely. Their attention is all focused on us. They keep asking us about our lives, our devotion. 

 The look in their eyes is telling me that they look down on us. I answer their questions, not trying to hide anything - nothing there to hide really, but also trying to avoid verbal traps. 

 I take a look at the fire that keeps us warm. So quite, yet so powerful, ready to devour all those who don't respect her strenght, but there to protect those who will feed her. 

  ''And so, what do you do, when you have to act? When you ''charge'' towards your enemies? Is there any prayer or a warcry?..''

 I took a sip of wine and looked at his face. He had his stare fixed on me, preying on what I will say. I answered anyway..

 ''I think of her.. Her long black hair,  her soft skin.. Her scent touching gently my lips. I call her name loud, so my enemies would know I have something to protect, that I would take this to the edge..''

 ''I thought knights were godfearing men..'' he said smiling.. ''Isn't it a blasphemy to call upon a human than to a higher and divine power?''

 It's a hard thing to describe a feeling to the insensitive. It's like having a disability. Emotionally blind people, turning their envy into hate and trying to make us look like fools. 

 I took another sip of wine.

 I looked at his face.

 ''I think of her.... The rest is easy.'' 

The masks we wear

The prisoner's dilemma

''Lies... This loud, clumsy, stupid thing -- this is the weapon of the enemy. ... We will not use it.''

 The other day I was out for a cup of coffee and on my way home I found a book on the bus stop. Noone was around so I guessed that someone caught the bus and left it behind. I took a look at it, it was an elementary book for writing essays, this one was focused on interpertation of key terms, how and when we use them. It was quite interesting. Well to be honest, there was a spefic term that it really caught my attention.

popularism: - the existance of simplifying partitionist discrimination, deifying the black-and-white logic

                    - the view of the people as incorruptible, inpeccable, innocent and uninvolved in any wrong desisions and failures

                    -the existance of a gifted leader

 Well, that sure rings a bell. With the awful financial state we currently are, and the elections coming on in a few days, all I see is people blaming everyone but themselves for our misery, waiting to idolize our new savior, our new hero who will bring the days of prosperity back, and make it all  like the way they were.

 That's not how it works and I hope people will get to know it before it's too late - as if it already isn't. We took it to the point of no return, misleading our own selves. Life is not a fairytale. There is no white knight in a shining armor coming to save us. Everyone is busy trying to find the someone who will do something different, not knowing that someone is noone but ourselves.

 I've always wondered, if there weren't the media to manipulate the mob's thoughts, what would they think of? Would anyone be brave? Or even more mislead? Knowning only everything what the media provides us, we only get a tiny part of the picture. It seems that our world is a lot like Skynet. The system spreads to the whole planet, it's learning from it's mistakes and it's evolving constantly. Even if the evolution of one species means the exctinction of another.

For this world to dictate our deaths

 ''Their morals, their "code"... it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these "civilized people", they'll eat each other.''

  The other day I went to my parents' house to pay them a visit. It's been a while since the last time I saw them. My father was at work again so I hang out just with my mother. She told me that earlier that day an old man, almost 80 years old, commited suicide at the town's central plaza. He was motivated by the awful financial situation the goverment brought him due to the extreme measurements they took to repay the country's debts. In his suicidal note he wrote that he didn't want to feed himself of the trash.

 I was pretty shocked by this end of course I was not the only one. The next morning the media, necrophilic as always, they fed on his death, idolizing him and making him a martyr. Although, not everyone held the same perspective. Some people believe that this was pretty disgusting and shameful act, doing it in public.

Well, I don't believe he was disgraced, but he was not a hero either. This has to be something else. He wasn't a thirty year-old drug-addicted rockstar, he was a family man in his old age living on his pension. It was something like scorpions do. When they are surrounded by their enemies and there is no escape, they would rather sting their own body than to be eaten alive. I guess, this is something like that. Making full use of your free will. Dying on your feet than living on your knees.

 But they got it wrong. It's living on your feet than dying on your knees...

Welcome to our execution

''He made wings out of wax so he could fly.. but when he got too close to the sun... to God... the wax melted and he crashed to the ground.''

 Today the sirens of the ambulance woke me up early. It has been a car accident right infront of my house, one of these small trucks hit a guy on a motorcycle. The neighbours told me that the man's heart had stopped for several minutes, but the paramedics managed to revive him even though they were on the street. They said while they were putting him inside the ambulance he kept talking, like most people who had near-death expiriences, for a bright light, a melody, enlightened figures everywhere.

 Of course I know that this is not a proof for god's existance nor one of his signs. Science found out that when we are at our final moments, our body excretes a hallucinogenic substance called DMT, the same that uses when we see dreams.

 I feel really bad knowing that. It's not that I am the religious kind of person,in fact, I am in favor of scientific progress and I believe that even the slightest of knowledge brings us closer to understanding the universe, but if you take the soul away from us, what is left to believe in?

 Deep inside I have the need to believe in something great, in something big, in something that isn't produced in testing tubes and laboratories. I need to believe in something that has iron morals, and is timeless, proud and invulnerable. Sometimes I catch myself being jealous of the ancient Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, the Norse. They were told since the day they were born that they were made in the image and likeness of their gods, wise and brave.

 We, instead, grew up deifying anything related to money and status. All progress that has been made in the last hudred years was in the name of trade and fame.The void we have has made us suicidal, consuming all this alcohol and drugs, and isolated, with no deep and real human relationships.

 But I want to believe, even though I know there exist no giant snake wrapped around the earth, no titan holding the sky and no light at the end of the tunnel. I will still look at the stars and the moon and recall all the myths surrounding their beauty, I will still take a moment to catch my breath by the sea to enjoy it's freshness, and above all, I will still look inside the eyes of the people I love and care about, and I will know that this feeling is not just a chemical reaction, but ,indeed, something divine.

Goodbye Halcyon days

''Left are the kings of the Carnival Creation, carring out the echoes of the fallen.''

 Last night I couldn'n sleep again. Dammit, I hate it when this happens, my body feeling so exhausted and tired, but my mind still in haste. I get off my bed, I just want to get outside. I get close to the window but I can tell from the sounds that it's raining heavily. Well, it's not raining, it's a hailstorm.

 ''Fuck that shit, if I stay in for another minute I will propably lose my mind''

 Talking to myself was always a sign of me going downhill. I wear the warmest clothes I have, I put lots of whiskey in a flask, wear a raincoat -implying it will do any good- and take of.

 As soon I got out I drunk a huge sup of whiskey. The wind is blowing as hell and I try to take shelter in my own clothes.  When I finally reached the metro station the booze was already over and my mind was taking me places.

  I've reached downtown in a blink of an eye. Riots took place the day before so the streets are still in ruins. The walls are written all over with all kinds of anti-political quotes, ''eat the rich'', ''state kills'', ''freedom isn't free'' and a lot simiral words inspiring conflict. In fact, politics were never good. It's just that we are used to live in comfort and it's hard to accept change and to adapt to the new status.

 I saw a couple holding each other's hand tight trying to catch a bus.  This scene got me really emotional and sad. I found a place to keep me away from the storm and light a smoke. Too bad there is no more whiskey. I took a look at my cellphone. Out of reach. I didn't expect to get a signal in this kind of weather.

 When I finished my cigarette I got back home. My body couldn't take it any more so I fell asleep, but my mind was still in haste, running hand to hand with her, trying to catch a bus.