Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The messiah complex

 ''And of course our cause is righteous! This is a war, sister, and in a war, every side is fighting for a righteous cause..''

 I woke up in the middle of the night again having one of these hideous nightmares, where you realize you are asleep but no matter what you can't wake up. It's funny how when I am at this state I always dream of been hunted and tortured and all kind of soul consuming things instead of having nice wet dream

 Anyway, with my heart beating it's way out of my chest and my eyes still seeing monsters there is no way of getting back to sleep. So I get dressed grab my pack of smokes and a beer from the fridge and go down to the streets to have a nice late midnight walk.

 I drunk my beer on my way downtown, and bought another one from a liquer store since I got there. I find a nice bench and take a sit there. I take out a cigarrette. A tiny voice whispers in my head that it's bad for my health. I look around and take a deep breath. The tear gas the police sprayed all over the place to disperce the protestors make it's way deep into my lungs filling them with it's toxic. I light the cigarrette anyway.

 On the bench next to mine is a homeless man sleeping. He has a newspaper on him, as if a piece of paper can protect a man from the wind. Even from this distance I can read the huge headline letters: ''Leftists taking over Europe!''

 I don't know if I have to laugh or if I have to cry reading this. Four and a half billion years of evolution leading to a species so desparate to find a group to fit in that will gladly embrace the label of marxist or neonazi or capitalist and so on. So misarable we are that we are accepting a small number of people manipulating us using emotional blackmail,  that is targeting either on our need for equality, or on our national conciouness.

 People say that money talks. That is not true. Money dooes no talk. Money screams. And it screams with a voice so deafening and frightful that makes entire populations hide back into their houses, not doing anything about their dreams, brainwashing them that there is no other way. Without it we wouldn't work, we wouldn't eat, we wouldn't live.

 With one cigarrette left and my eyes tingling out of the venomous city air and of exhaustion I return to my appartment. My bed seems like sweet redemption as I fall onto it. I fall asleep hoping that the monsters will not come for me twice in the same night..

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Fire and water

''We learned to cope.. We learned to recognize the danger of the endless envy of those who are not blessed.. We, and our wild obsession!!''

 Her kiss is like a breath of life bringing me back from the dead. Her wet lips are moving away from mine and get down on my neck. My senses are going crazy, both sharpened and dull. Her perfume is making it's way towards me. It's tangling me, claiming as it's own, taking me for prisoner.

 Her hands are holding the back of my head as she keeps pushing my lips against me. I unbutton my shirt slowly so she can watch. She can't resist putting her hand on my my chest, feeling my heartbeat setting it's own pace like a runaway train.

 I get closer and whisper all the staff I wanna do to her, how I am gonna do them, and how good it will feel. Her eyes sparkling, looking directly into mine, it's like I can read her mind through them, all the frames of the nasty and dirty game we are about to play.

 Our bodies are sweaty, out of breath and our minds out of this place, living the moment as if the world is about to end, and don't care about the consequences. Our voices speak now no tongue,  just moans and words that only the two of us can understand, composing a lovely song solely for our entairtainment..

 As I see her sleep and notice these perfect breasts of hers moving up and down as she breaths, bringing a huge smile to my face. The world will not end, but even if it does, I know I will go smiling just thinking of the life we shared, embracing the sun.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Armor of insanity

 They offered me another glass of wine. Although they seem a bit friendly I can't let myself go completely. Their attention is all focused on us. They keep asking us about our lives, our devotion. 

 The look in their eyes is telling me that they look down on us. I answer their questions, not trying to hide anything - nothing there to hide really, but also trying to avoid verbal traps. 

 I take a look at the fire that keeps us warm. So quite, yet so powerful, ready to devour all those who don't respect her strenght, but there to protect those who will feed her. 

  ''And so, what do you do, when you have to act? When you ''charge'' towards your enemies? Is there any prayer or a warcry?..''

 I took a sip of wine and looked at his face. He had his stare fixed on me, preying on what I will say. I answered anyway..

 ''I think of her.. Her long black hair,  her soft skin.. Her scent touching gently my lips. I call her name loud, so my enemies would know I have something to protect, that I would take this to the edge..''

 ''I thought knights were godfearing men..'' he said smiling.. ''Isn't it a blasphemy to call upon a human than to a higher and divine power?''

 It's a hard thing to describe a feeling to the insensitive. It's like having a disability. Emotionally blind people, turning their envy into hate and trying to make us look like fools. 

 I took another sip of wine.

 I looked at his face.

 ''I think of her.... The rest is easy.''